Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Packing Or Buying My Lunch?

It's 10 pm on a Sunday night, I have laid my clothes out, I have packed my messenger bag, and I have put gas in the car. Yes friends, tomorrow is the big day: my first day at my new job.

Funny - as you get older, you would think that doing these things gets easier. And, in a way, I suppose it does. This is not my first real job, and this is not the first time I have ever entered an office environment, so there's really no reason to be nervous, right? Wrong.

I have to admit, as much as I hate to do so, that I am nervous and a little scared. It's times like these that I wish my mom was here to tuck me into my new, queen-sized maple bed, put a glass of water on my nightstand, tickle my arm (anyone who knows me well knows about my obsession with the relaxing arm tickle), and tell me that it will be okay. Instead, I am folding clothes from the dryer, in between mouthfuls of bite-sized iced oatmeal cookies, typing this blog post, and f*cking freaking out. Not the pretty picture I was hoping for.

I find myself worried about the same things I was worried about the night before I started a new grade, or even a new school.

Am I wearing the right "first day outfit"?
The agency handbook says "business casual", which means that "suits and skirts for women are not mandatory". Yet "ripped clothing, or clothing that you would run around in on weekends is not tolerable". Well f*ck me. It says nothing about jeans. Most agencies I have ever been to practically mandate jeans and a casual dress code, but since it says nothing about jeans, I am left to my own judgement call. Great, like I really trust myself on that one, considering my inadvertent low-rise jeans on casual Friday at work last fall really put a "crack" in others' perception of my fashion sense (Literally. Had it not been for the underwear, who knows what might have happened.) I don't trust myself on this one.

Should I pack or buy my lunch?
I was assigned a "buddy", who emailed me last week. She seems nice, and the first-day agenda they sent me says that I will eat lunch with my buddy, but does that mean she's taking me out to lunch? Do I need my own lunch money? Or should I pack a lunch just in case? Do I get a f*cking "fruit break"? (And does anyone that I went to school with remember that? What the f*ck was a fruit break anyway? Total bullshit.)

Will I actually have stuff to do?
On the first day at school, especially college, it was so nice to go to class, because while they assigned homework at the end, they usually had little to start with, so the first day was always sort of a joke. As mentioned earlier, I have an agenda which states I'll be meeting with HR, IT, PR (payroll resources), and an assload of acronyms that I skipped over to get to the "dress code" section, but are they going to throw me down in my cube and plunge me into media planning headfirst? Better yet, will I be able to check my Hotmail? I am expecting exciting baby news from my old co-worker who is about to become a first-time dad, and I am dying to know if it's a boy or a girl. Plus, the new MSN Gossip column comes out tomorrow.

Will I like school?
In this instance, this question is terrifying, because if I moved across the country for a job that sucks...well, we have a bit of a problem.

Will the other kids like me?
Ahhh yes, the biggest fear of them all. Will the other kids want to play with the KA? What if they think (or find out, rather) that I am a nerd? What if everyone has their little work clique and I don't fit in? What if we have to take the Presidential Fitness test in gym class and I can't do a single pull-up? (Wait, that already happened, and this doesn't apply here. Okay okay, not that bad then.) I mean, I had friends at my old job, but what if the new people aren't as fun, or as nice, or as cool as the old people?

I mean, yes, I know, it will be okay. There is no sense in worrying. But at times like these, I can't help but revert back into a 10 year old girl with an Afro, a retainer, tortoise glasses, and a puffy-paint t-shirt who just wants kids to like her. Sad, but true. I guess I'll keep you posted tomorrow, as there is more laundry to fold tonight.

posted by KA @ 9:20 PM