Confessions of A Naughty Girl

My first boyfriend

Well, I feel like there's been a lot of man-bashing on my part lately, so I've decided to write a serious post. Wow, that's deep, and I haven't even gotten past the first sentence.

My first boyfriend called me tonight to talk. Not a big surprise - we talk all the time. We met in high school (he went to a different school), and we dated my entire junior year. He inevitably dumped me for some skanky girl who put out, and we've been friends ever since. It's been 8 years.

Last night, he broke up with a girl he was practically engaged to, and he's pretty devastated. So he called me (since apparently I'm a shrink now), and I tapped myself out of all of the breakup advice that I have. Go out with other people. Throw yourself into work. Make a list of shit you've been meaning to do forever and actually do it. Write a blog. (Just kidding.) We talked a lot about why sometimes, things just don't work, and how it's nobody's fault. Or how you can be in love with someone, and find out that they are totally wrong for you.

And then, to cheer him up (I didn't want him to jump out a window, for God's sake, I was trying to make him feel better), I brought up some old times. Like the time he called me, flipping out, because his parents found the 3-foot bong under his bed. And like the time I was convinced he gave me mono and wouldn't touch him for a week. Wait, actually, he did give me mono. Well, anyway, good times. We laughed quite a bit. I think my tactic worked.

We've been friends for so long that, as with a lot of friendships, sometimes I feel like we're just going through the motions. Phone call here, visit there. But for the first time in a long time -- tonight, I remembered all of the things that I love about this guy. I remembered why we've been friends for so long, and why we'll be friends 50 years from now. Even when we're married to other people and I probably will somehow have 5 illegitimate kids.

The thing that's so cool -- and scary -- about people and relationships is that I think that they're all we really have in life. And it's an amazing thing to look back on 8 years and see how far you've come, how much your friendship has evolved. When I was 16, I told him I wanted to work in advertising and live in Chicago. Now, at one week shy of 24, I am working in advertising and living in Chicago. He has always wanted to make a lot of money and live in New York. And now his rich ass works in commercial real estate and lives in Manhattan. Funny, you know?

Where am I going with this...oh yes, I urge you to hunt down your first love (if you're still on speaking terms), call them, and ask them how they've been. And just talk to them. For me, talking to him now is great. Just listening to him brings me back to when I was 16 and didn't have to worry about getting promoted, or paying the bills, or coming home on a weeknight to an empty apartment -- to a bottle of white wine and a refrigerator full of condiments. I completely forget about that when we're on the phone, or on the rare occasion that I see him. And it's nice to forget sometimes. It's nice to "go home", so to speak, and revisit someone who really knows you, and doesn't think you're an idiot. Or at least if they do, they know better than to admit that to you, and love you in spite of it.

posted by KA @ 1:10 AM