Confessions of A Naughty Girl

I Lied

I said last night that I probably wouldn't post anything, but I lied.

Today's zen gems, courtesy of Erica (and the email forwarding community):

Simple Words by Which to Live a Happy Life:

· Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
· The journey of a thousand miles begin with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
· It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
· Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
· Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
· Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
· If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
· Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
· If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
· Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
· If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
· If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
· Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
· Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
· The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
· A closed mouth gathers no foot.
· Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
· There are two ways to argue with women. Neither one works.
· Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
· Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
· Never miss a good chance to shut up.
· Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

posted by KA @ 5:06 PM