Jimmy McFlavor
So, on day two of the best weekend ever, I managed to spend some time with the modern-day literary masterpiece: Marie Claire. This is probably my favorite magazine, because they always have cool people on the cover (read: usually no slutty gross people), and they're a little more well rounded than Cosmo, which features the same "50 Tips to Hotter Sex" every single month. (I mean seriously. How much hotter can sex get when they shuffle the same 50 tips around in different order every month? Isn't sex in general awesome? Or should I be looking for more out of the whole thing? Not to mention, I can't imagine any man I know enjoying having Icy Hot rubbed into his unmentionables. I sincerely doubt that this causes a better experience. I would imagine it would cause some burning and a major need for rinsing.)So I'm reading, and you see, Marie Claire is very big on discussing global perspectives for women. Each month, there is at least one article on how women in Mepos are being mutilated and have pictures of them with flies on their faces, and a little tidbit on how we can all help. I'm sure that Mepos doesn't really exist (especially considering that it was Balky Bartokomos' hometown on "Perfect Strangers"), and I'm sure the pictures are from some Sally Struthers archive, but I do feel a little more well-rounded after reading it, which, in my own warped sense of vanity, is what is really important here.
The particular article that struck my fancy today was entitled, "What Women Around the World Have In Their Purses," or something to that effect. What caught my eye was one of the items found in the Russian fashion editor's Furla bag, which was mint-flavored condoms.
Someone please explain to me: why do they manufacture flavored or scented condoms? I have always been so baffled by this. Am I the only person who doesn't understand how scent would make any difference in this situation? I mean, please. Enlighten me as to how a strawberry-scented prophylactic would make the experience any better and I will buy you a nice steak dinner. I can't imagine with all that goes on during the act someone would actually have the mental capacity to think, "Hmm...something here smells like Strawberry Shortcake! Delicious!" And I'm sorry to get so crass, but when it comes to oral sex, I have never heard of anyone using protection. Sorry, just stating the old facts. So again, where does flavor come into this? (No pun intended.)
It's inventions such as flavored or scented condoms that really tap into my inadequacies, because I feel like I should know what the purpose of this stuff is, yet I don't.
posted by KA @ 10:03 PM
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