Confessions of A Naughty Girl

It's Amazing What Will Fit In The Box

It's Saturday night, and instead of being out, making an ass out of myself, or on an Easter-egg Hunt, like most people might be, I am packing. Yes, packing up my life. I hit the jackpot today and managed to scam a nice lady into subletting my apartment and taking all of the furniture for a sum that is embarrassingly her loss and my gain, so now it's party time.

Now, I should state for the record that I am a pretty clean, neat person, but considering that I have lived in Chicago for the entirety of my post-college life, and in this particular apartment for two of those past three years, there has been some loot that I have been...well, rather nostalgic about. In other words, there are Rubbermaid boxes upon Rubbermaid boxes of shit that I have collected in the name of memories, that I have to go through. It's a twelve-hour drive in my little Nissan Pathfinder, and I'm not about to subject my Pathfinder (which I have affectionately named Christian Abraham del Amor) to carrying receipts from Nine West and cans of chicken stock. Respect the auto.

After the fifth hour of packing, I decided I needed some incentive, considering that packing up until that point had consisted of the following process: sifting through some shit, throwing half of it away in trash bags, going to the dumpster outside to throw out the bags, inadvertently dumping the bag over myself in a feeble attempt to haul it over my head into the dumpster, getting pissed off, going inside, calling one of my friends and watching tv for an hour, and starting over again the next hour. So, not wanting to waste the three bottles of wine chilling in my refrigerator, awaiting either consumption or death by dumpster, I have started drinking. Obviously, I am not wasted yet, as I am only on glass #2, but this could get interesting. I also thought about rolling up a blunt and smoking it, except for that 1) that's illegal, and 2) I don't have any pot. The aforementioned criteria really hinder that idea. Bummer. I could really go for it, although I doubt I'd be able to get much packing done.

It must be noted that there are some interesting items one comes across when packing. So far I have found a wine cork from an Ohio winery that I kept from a first date six months ago (still keeping it - it was a good memory), a Starbucks gift card (the liquid crack could come in handy this upcoming week - thanks, Beth), a pair of gloves I thought I lost last year, and love letters from jail. Skeet skeet! Love letters from jail. Definitely coming with me. Anyway, I'm sure there will be something more interesting to report later (because I know that everything I report on here is newsworthy and interesting), and I haven't dumped nearly enough trash on myself, or drank nearly enough, so signing off until later.

posted by KA @ 9:27 PM