Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Meet Frank (Who Just So Happens To Look An Awful Lot Like Tom Selleck)

As you can see, Frank has guns. And he works me good, too, in case you were wondering.

I am sick and tired of being asked if I am dating someone. Sometimes it's by nosy co-workers. Sometimes it's by random friends-of-friends while I am out. Most of the time, it's at the bar, being asked by guys who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. So here goes...

Random Imbecile: So KA, do you have a boyfriend?

KA: Yes, for your f*cking information, I do.

Everyone, it's time to meet Frank. Frank is my pretend boyfriend who I invented this weekend, while most of you were grilling Johnsonville brats, or drinking yourselves into a coma. Due to the nature of special relationships being sacred, I can't tell you much about Frank, except for the following:

Frank looks a lot like Tom Selleck in his "Magnum P.I." days.

In his spare time, Frank enjoys Hardy Boys novels, the ice luge competition at the Winter Olympics, and whistling.

Frank works in Waste Management, but this is by choice. He is also a card-carrying member of MENSA. He just doesn't like to flaunt his smarts.

Right now, Frank and I are just "boyfriend/girlfriend". We've been together for quite a while now, but neither one of us is looking to make a definitive commitment. We believe that marriage ain't nothing but a piece of paper. Well, that, and we're not really sure how to combine our finances into a joint bank account. But otherwise, we're as good as married. So leave me the f*ck alone.

posted by KA @ 10:49 PM