Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Flutter Boys, Not To Be Confused With Fluffers

There is a special breed of boy that comes into a girl's life once or twice in her lifetime (or a good handful of times if she is either a) easily stimulated, or b) has low standards). It's a guy that makes you weak in the knees when you see him, makes you want to pass out if you come within 5 feet of him, and will, by virtue of standing, stand literally in the way of your life until you are safely able to remove him from your line of vision. This, my friends, is the flutter boy.

When I was sixteen, I was a camp counselor, and there was a little sixth grade kid that was in love with my ass. He would ask me to dance with him at the camp dances, write me love letters made in Arts & Crafts, and he even told my boyfriend at the time that should things not work out, he'd be happy to step in. He called me his "Flutter Girl", because I made his heart flutter when he saw me. It was adorable and endearing -- not in that incestuous way, but in a way that comforts everyone, because you never know to whom you are a Flutter person, really.

I have had the same Flutter boy for a while. No matter what's going on in my life, no matter how far I think I come, every time I see this guy, my heart falls through my stomach and my nervous system goes crazy. I can't explain how or why this happens, but it does, and it is always - and only - with this one person. Weird how this shit happens.

For better or for worse, I'm a pretty confident person. If you don't like me, go f*ck yourself. I am quite alright with that mentality. But I saw my Flutter boy not too long ago, and that confidence shot right out of my body and through the window I was sitting next to, and that happens every time. Not because I am an insecure person, but because I was this particular Flutter person to like me so much that a freak out (or as my mom would say, "frick out") is inevitable. Sometimes I wonder if my Flutter has any idea, but considering I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve (or on my blog, I guess), I'm sure he's picked up on this by now.

Perhaps the worst part about the Flutter is the weird things you will do for him/her. You will drive, or fly, or sail, to see them if they are far away. You will call, with the dumbest excuse you can imagine, to talk to them. And you will break every resolution you have ever made about the Flutter, if it means another shot at being with them.

I think Flutters make life incredibly interesting, but it really sucks when they f*ck you up.

posted by KA @ 9:29 PM