Confessions of A Naughty Girl

No More Ear Sex - I'm Off The Sponge

Hello hello, long time no speak. Apologies for the absence - I have had a long week, and was both sick and tired, not to mention inarticulate. I am wiped out, and I kind of feel like this happens every August. I'm not sure if it's my pseudo-back-to-school sadness that kicks in (I almost cried while walking past the Trapper Keeper aisle at Target today, or whatever kids are using for folders these days), but this summer has just been...well, long. And very rainy.

Regardless, my ear is much better, thanks for asking. After a hellish Monday and Tuesday, taking antibiotics that only seemed to be making my head throb more, I sucked it up and paid a friendly visit to the ear, nose, and throat doctor, Dr. S, who quite frankly, appeared to be on Quaaludes. I'm not sure what gave me this impression - perhaps it was his hemp shirt and linen pants (in lieu of a lab coat), or the fact that he spoke 3 words per minute, but I'm fairly confident that he may be prescribing himself his own narcotics. I really don't care, though, because he diagnosed me with a severe ear infection, sucked some stuff out of it, told me to lay off the sauce, and stuck a medicine-soaked sponge in my ear that I had to leave in for four days.

And whatever he did with his little ear Dustbuster must have worked, because I am (almost) all better. The second half of last week was a little rough, seeing as I was deaf in the left side of my head...it was interesting being at a bar for Humpy's birthday on Friday night and having to ask everyone to repeat themselves three times. It was also fun test driving cars yesterday and having the salesperson rave about the Bose sound system, only to have to ask him to crank that motherf*cker up because I couldn't hear anything. I have an even greater sympathy for the deaf than ever before.

So now it's Sunday night and I'm just trying to get my bearings for this week. I have a couple of dinners, a birthday dinner for Matt, and about 20 projects, but at least I'll be able to focus a little more since I don't have a sponge stuffed in my left ear. I guess the only problem is that I can't have any more risque, unprotected ear sex.

posted by KA @ 6:33 PM