The Razor Scooter World Championships (And By The Way, Roos Are Cool Again)
Maybe I've just been working too much lately, because I'm beginning to think I'm losing my damn mind.
I'm singlehandedly bringing back the coolness of Roos. Remember Roos? They're the KangaROOS brand shoes from the early 80s with the pockets on the side of the shoe where you can put your lunch money, or perhaps a love note from a crush. They have a ferocious little kangaroo on the side, and they come in fun colors.
I spotted an awesome neon-pink-and-olive-green pair at DSW while shopping with my sister a few weeks ago, but ultimately decided against purchasing them, because really, I couldn't justify spending $60 on a pair of shoes that weren't even cool again yet. In a pleasant twist of fate, I arrived at my apartment last night to find a pair sitting on my doorstep, courtesy of my big sister. So now, I have brand-new kicks made just for racing.
Racing?! What?
Okay, allow me to refresh your respective memories: I work at Disneyland. Our office decor is bright orange and blue, we have a motorcycle in our lobby, basketball hoops and foosball tables at work, a free soda fountain, and beer at agency meetings. It's an ad agency, so we're supposed to be fun, and there are supposed to be enough amusements to keep us working sweatshop-style, 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. So we always have new toys and fun shit floating around the three floors of the building that we occupy, and recently, I discovered the fleet of Razor scooters in our office to ride around in, since our office has such an open floor plan. And it works! Let me assure you that it does make scooting down to bitch at Accounting a hell of a lot more fun than it ordinarily would be. (Although Accounting is still, bar-none, the freakiest department in our office. Isn't this true of every office? I feel like the freaks and geeks always work in Accounting. Unless, I guess, you're an Accounting firm. The rule doesn't hold true there, or else it must be hell working with 300 other squares at Goldman Sachs or wherever you are.)
Well, after being challenged (twice!) by co-workers in a race down the 14th floor hallway and putting both challengers in my pipe and smoking them, respectively, I decided to announce to all of my co-workers that I was going to begin training for the Razor Scooter World Championships in December. I also decided that there are two different divisions - racing and tricks - and that I would only be competing in the racing division this year, since I haven't had enough time to train with tricks, and the only trick I've been able to master thus far is scooting while fully raising one leg in the air, like a dog peeing. I'm not sure if this completely fabricated competition makes me just quirky, or totally insane.
To anyone who is interesting in supporting me, Humpy, who is acting as my coach, and I will be selling "Scoot Strong" bracelets through this website. Bracelets will be neon pink and olive green (to match my racing kicks), and will be $18/bracelet. For $18, you will get a high-quality plastic bracelet full of inspiration and the knowledge that I am probably out somewhere shopping, spending your money and chuckling because I totally scammed you.
Scoot strong, motherf*ckers.
posted by KA @ 11:05 PM
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