Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Shove Over, J. Lo - There's A New Fly Girl In Town

As part of my new plan to expand my horizons and shit, I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and try some new activities. Perhaps I can discover new hobbies this way, or at the very least, have some good stories.

As luck would have it, I discovered a new hobby, or maybe even career, as a Fly Girl. Hilla, Krista, and I decided to trade in our white-girl, booty-grinding dance moves for some urban flavor (or "flava", I guess) in Hip Hop class at the gym. When I told my sister about our plans, she laughed. When I told my boss about our plans, she laughed harder. But I really want to expand my horizons! Instead of just grinding drunk ass against people in a club, I am going to pull a pop-and-lock and THEN grind drunk ass. At least I'll do it to a count of sixteen, you know?

The class was taught by an amazing-looking muscular black man who could dance the shit out of Justin Timberlake. The class was comprised of 97% white girls, some of whom might have been there just to stare at the instructor, and an average Joe white guy wearing white sweatpants who found it amusing to try and learn some rhythm. (Not to mention, could he have been any more obvious? Should he have maybe worn a white sweatband and a gold chain, too?)

We spent the entire hour learning a routine, one which I am struggling to remember even now, an hour and a half later. All I can recall is that it involved a lot of neck pops and some ass jiggling. It was a great workout, but in all honesty, I think my boobs got worked the most out of all of the body parts that should have been moving, because we devoted 4 entire beats to shaking it like Beyonce. My version of shaking looked more like Jessica Simpson having a seizure, not to mention that I nearly hit myself in the eye with my left breast when we had to jump around in a 360-degree turn. Classy.

At any rate, I did actually have a good time. I laughed a hell of a lot, which I suppose counts for something. I am actually considering adding "fly girl" to my bag of hidden tricks, in addition to my Razor Scooter skills and my numchuck skills. I feel good, like I am definitely well on my way to being a more well-balanced woman.

posted by KA @ 8:31 PM