Confessions of A Naughty Girl

It's Not A Blind Date If I Know He Wears Glasses

Every two to three years, the universe gets a little too small for me.

This world is filled with little earthquakes - conversations or situations that make little light bulbs go off in our heads - and I've realized that whoever said that life has no rhyme or reason was an ignorant asshole, because it does.

I used to tell this joke about college, which was that I knew I was ready to graduate and move on because by my senior year, I couldn't walk into a bar without spotting at least five guys that had seen my breasts.

In Chicago, my world got a little bit bigger. But then one weekend, a long-distance boyfriend came into town to visit, and within the first 30 minutes at the bar we ran into a guy I was casually hooking up with just before the relationship began. Not okay. I moved less than six months later.

I've now been in Atlanta for over a year and a half, which is hard to believe, but my little earthquake came around a few weeks ago and I'm quite happy here and don't want to move, but when things like this happen, I am forced to conclude one of two things:

1. I am entirely too sexually active for my own good.
2. I need to move every two years.

I work with a really great girl, and while we only recently started working on an account together, we have some mutual friends which inevitably places us in the same circle. Her husband is very good friends with a group of guys that I know through my old agency, so when she and I were getting acquainted, it was nice to discover that we knew some of the same people.

About two months ago, she asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and she started going on and on about how she wanted to set me up with one of her husband's friends, who would be just perfect for me. He works in the same industry, and is attractive, and smart, and nice, etc etc.
I finally ask her who it is, and she tells me his name.

As luck would have it, I hooked up with him. Last year. Without getting too much into detail, I'd known him for months and had a crush on him. He wears these great little smart-boy glasses and is ever-so-socially awkward - squarely my type of guy. We were at a party and somehow brilliantly decided to begin making out in public. When we kissed, he pulled away and told me I fogged up his glasses. I wanted to rip his clothes off with my face.

All was going well until we had a drunken conversation at the bar and discovered - through a series of questions - that he was actually one of the best friends of my ex-boyfriend, the Midget Troll, in college (the Midget Troll was in graduate school by the time we dated, so this guy and I never went to school together, but I had heard a lot about him through the ex and forgotten his name until this was discovered).

At this point, I was still interested in the guy, but after he told me that Midget Troll had visited him shortly after our breakup and cried on his shoulder for two weeks, I was a little unnerved, and frankly, so was he. He was so freaked out at this revelation that a cease-and-desist was issued on our making out, and running into him has been awkward ever since.

So let's go back to the conversation I have with my co-worker. How the hell I managed to explain this to her, I'll never know, but by the time I was done discussing, we were both laughing and there were big fat tears running down our faces. Not only did I know exactly who she was talking about, but we were two degrees away from some guy I dated in college six years ago.

She thinks it's fate and we should blind date.

I think that our connection is an albatross around my neck. And that it's not a blind date if I know he wears glasses.

She's trying to get him to ask me out.

I'm thinking it's time to move.

Did anyone else feel the Earth shake a little?

posted by KA @ 1:43 PM