Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Conjunction Junction, What's Your Dysfunction?

I haven't done a "don't date this person" post in a while, so here's one for you:

Don't date guys who have no guy friends. Conversely, don't date girls who have no girl friends. Why? Well, it's weird.

Who was I talking to the other day that was telling me that they preferred to be friends with guys only because girls are petty and shallow? I can't remember who this girl was, but I do remember that she had major issues. There is always reason to speculate if someone can't handle building and developing friendships with members of the same sex. I usually find that girls in this situation are the kinds of girls who are really competitive with other girls over men and must have male attention constantly. They threaten any potential for female friendships because...well, they're slutty. And they'll steal your boyfriend. And no one wants to befriend a girl who's f*cking their boyfriend.

Same deal with guys. Well, actually, no - the only similarity between the two sexes in this scenario is that it's weird. I find that guys who have no male friends are...often batting for the other team, or at least hovering by the water cooler as a double agent. Shit, my metaphors are confusing me. But you know what I mean. And if, by Jesus, this is not the case, then usually, it's because the guys are extraordinarily effeminate and hypersensitive. I don't know about other girls (different strokes for different folks!), but I don't want a potential or existing boyfriend crying because Fantasia won "American Idol", or because Oprah gave a blind deaf mute with no arms and no legs a cruise vacation to Turks and Caicos to hang with Diddy.

On the flip side, guys who have no girl friends - well, that's also weird. Again, same with girls. I'd like to think we've long since passed third grade, when the peak of male-female interaction involved throwing spitballs in someone's hair, or playing "Seven Minutes in Heaven" at someone's birthday party. Admittedly a good game, though. To me, guys who have no girl friends says, "I am someone who can't possibly cross the gender gap to relate to a chick." It also tells me that the guy probably objectifies women and just sees boobs (or lack thereof for some girls) when he looks at them. And yes, it's totally okay to look at boobs, as long as you make eye contact every now and then, and talk about something other than how big you are.

Of course there are exceptions to this, but not really. There really aren't exceptions. I think that if you are dating or are thinking of dating someone who doesn't have any friends of the opposite sex, or has no friends of the same sex, and you really think it has no bearing on that person or your relationship, that you should sit back and enjoy the breeze that is coming from the big red flag that is waving in front of your face. Because it will probably become a problem eventually.

posted by KA @ 7:31 PM