I'm Making A List, But Checking It Once
This looks just like me, except for I am at my desk on a laptop in a long-sleeved shirt and my hair doesn't look like this at all. But otherwise, just like me.
Because it's Monday night and there's nothing great on television (except for "Las Vegas", but that gets frustrating because Josh Duhamel is not in every scene of the show like his fine ass damn well should be), I have successfully killed the past hour trying to make a list of every person I have ever made out with. Ahhh yes, some of you are on there, dear readers - no stone has been left unturned on this one. But let me tell you - if you're looking for a rainy-day activity, this might be it. At 24, with my first real kiss having been at 13, we're looking at a good 11 years of kissing and heavy petting to wrestle into list form. (And I was definitely a late bloomer.) Really, I don't think that I'm an exceptionally slutty bitch to find this a hard task; I am fairly confident that anyone I associate with is probably in the same ballpark range.
The last time I did this was my senior year of college, with my roommate Ben. We sat down one night and attempted to make lists, but we weren't required to share them since a good percentage of mine included friends of his that he probably never knew about, and a good percentage of his included sorority sisters and assorted sluts I happened to know that he didn't think I knew about (even though I did; it's not hard to see who your roommate is bringing home when your window is next to the balcony/entrance). I beat him in the makeout department by a small margin, which is not something I am sure I should be proud of. But then when we added a twist and had to highlight everyone on our respective lists that we had slept with, I have never seen anyone go through a Sanford yellow quite as fast as he did...and half of a Sanford pink. (My marker was colorful and full of ink, so to speak.)
This has been a frustrating experience simply because it's hard to go back in chronological order and remember who I made out with in, say, 1996. The only two time periods I'm sure of are 2000-2001 and the mid-to-late 2004, as those were the only two times that I had boyfriends I didn't cheat on. And the really hard part is trying to remember people from bars, because some of them don't have names. Hell, who are we kidding - some don't even have descriptions. I find myself writing down things like, "the guy wearing the Playboy ski cap from John Barleycorn" (spring 2002?), and "Luke's friend that looked like my hot professor" (March 2003) more often than I'd like.
I think that once I'm done, I'm going to start on Venn diagrams of my list next Monday. Or I'm going to stop drinking so much on weekends so that I can go out on Monday nights and not sit at home and think of lists.
posted by KA @ 10:31 PM
1 Comments:
a friend and i once did the same thing. only instead of lists we just counted. and every so often we'd do a recount. i've since given up on counting b/c frankly i don't have enough fingers or toes. and that realization just makes me feel a bit dirty.
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