Confessions of A Naughty Girl

The Pre-emptive Apology

I am going out this weekend. It's St. Patty's Day, and while I am nowhere near Irish, I feel it's my duty to promote the global agenda of unity by supporting other cultures and their traditions. So I am spending a happy hour tonight with Sandy and her fabulous friend Bethany, who I love going out with. Tomorrow I am out for a birthday party pub crawl. Sunday, I am still contemplating whether to grace the South Side parade with my presence or not (it depends on how alive I am at that point in time).

So instead of reporting to y'all about the crimes and misdemeanors of my weekend after the fact, I decided to post a pre-emptive apology, since most of you readers are friends and people that I inevitably drunk dial on random nights out. (Well, I'll probably still report anyway, but here's the apologetic part.)

To anyone I drunk dialed, I apologize.

If I told you I was drunk, I probably was.

If I told you I missed you, I probably did.

If I told you I never got over you, I lied and probably called someone else to tell them the same thing.

If I told you I loved you - again, probably a lie.

If I told you that I hooked up with your friend, I probably did.

If I told you that I could't pull off pantyhose/shoes/socks/shirt, it's probably because I couldn't.

If I called you and spoke to you or left a message that was muffled, it was probably because I was eating a cheeseburger (or dessert, see below).

If I hung up on you, sorry about that.

If I didn't call you back, it was probably because I realized I shouldn't have called you, and then became too embarrassed to do so.

I think that should take care of it. Happy weekend.

posted by KA @ 12:48 PM