Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Do I really look like that?

If I ever get the opportunity to meet any of you, and I actually look like the posted picture on this site, I give you permission to tax me with a coyote ugly greeting.

Since I am a new friend of Karen's, I thought for my blog debut I would give you an overview on what makes me tick, and what ticks me off.

For starters, I grew up in Worcester, MA (dollah ninety five sah), but I tell everyone I'm from Boston because Worcester is embarrassing. True to form, I am a Masshole- I love beer, sports and my foul mouth can rival any angry trucker. I'm the oldest of 6- yes, that's right- 6. My parents are still married and everyday when I talk to them, I have a tinge of fear that my mother is going to tell me she's pregnant again.

When I graduated college, I decided to bite the big one and move to New York- and by that I mean attempt to prepare myself for a lifetime of debt. You know you've "made it" when you find five dollars in your jeans and use it to buy a round at happy hour. As a quasi New Yorker, I feel like I can share some helpful advice for anyone planning to visit "the city". 1. You will get sneezed on, groped and grabbed in the subway. If you thought watching Wife Swap was violating, you've never been felt up by a homeless man. 2. You start to become immune to things that are ridiculous. Ex: Yes, I will pay $8.00 for that tomato...3. If you are a somewhat attractive male and come to the city, you are now gay. Prepare yourself to be heckled like top heavy whore during Mardi Gras. My apartment is always open to out of town visitors, but because I live in the GAYEST part of Manhattan, I will not wipe your tears when my neighborhood drag queen tells you those pants are fierce.

I also work some the same company as KA- and we happened to start talking when she sent me a request for something. I ignored her request and asked her if she liked the OC. Many people may call it rude- I call it fate.

So with that said, I am going to abruptly end my first blog editorial. It is getting late here, and I have consumed enough calories in the past hour to ensure my pants don't fit tomorrow. However, I will periodically be "blogging" by to share a disgusting experience, a ridiculous joke ( I ran one by KA yesterday and she vetoed it) or an episode of the Real World that pushed me beyond the point of mad. If you thought that picture of me said a thousand words (g*d awful), I've only just begun...

posted by Anonymous @ 7:57 PM