Confessions of A Naughty Girl

Bad Boys Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do

First of all, worst headline ever on this blog. But it was for lack of anything better to segue into my post.

I was reading the ever-informative Cosmopolitan magazine yesterday at lunch, and there was an article about girls who love bad boys, or some shit like that. Any discussion on this topic always piques my interest, though, because I am a reformed bad-boy junkie. I'm only on step 10 of 12, but for the most part, my bad boy days are over.

Bad boys, I think, can be classified into two categories: physical bad boys and emotional bad boys. (By the way, I'm not stealing this from Cosmo, this is my own thing, thank you.)

Physical bad boys are today's equivalent of Dylan McKay from "Beverly Hills 90210". They are typically identified by any or all of the following criteria: red nostrils, an empty bank account, a mug shot, or, for our readers in rural areas, some schwag, a plastic flask, and a used Harley. These boys are true trouble, but we love them in spite of knowing there is absolutely zero future. Like, if we were to ever have illegitimate children with them, they would be running around naked swatting flies out of their face until Daddy came home from his two-week hunting excursion or motorcycle tour of California. Or rehab. Or jail.

Emotional bad boys are worse in some ways, because on the surface, they may appear normal. But a little into the relationship, you start to realize. They will never tell you that they like you. They will call...not so regularly. They sure as hell will never admit to loving you, somewhere down the line when it will be acceptable - or even a given - that they do. They will f*ck with your head and throw just enough emotional flotsam and jetsam to keep you hanging on. And you will. Analyzing every word and move they make, and taking your poor girlfriends down with you. Until you get sick of their shit and move on, or until the relationship becomes so destructive that it almost literally blows up in your face.

Anyway, many of my nice-guy friends always ask why it is that girls love bad boys. And other than "girls just like the thrill and the drama", I haven't been able to give a definitive answer until I read Cosmo (go figure), and a little line jumped out at me. The line that said something along the lines of women wanting to be the girl that changes the guy.

Jesus, how true this is. It's so sad that it took me a good 10 years to find and read this sentence and be able to tie up my past and put a big red bow on it. Girls love bad boys because we want to be the ones to change them. It is fed to us in every movie, book, CD that has ever been solidly classified under "chick flick". Even "The Breakfast Club", which I was watching last weekend, has a storyline with Princess Molly Ringwald and Bad Boy Judd Nelson making out at the end of the movie. We're fed so much shit in the way of urban relationship myths...yes, it's possible to change a guy. Yes, if you walk away they'll come running back to you and tell you they can't live without you. It's such a nice little fantasy to fall in love with - that by just being you, you can change another person entirely. But, more often than not, it's not true.

It's not that I don't think it ever happens, but it certainly doesn't happen as often as girls wish it would. But face it, a guy that is just as good the way he is and is nice to you doesn't, comparatively speaking, seem as good as a guy who used to be a dick and did a total 180 because he met you and you were the light of his life. Right?

The good news is that most girls eventually get tired of this lousy group of people and realize that it would be a lot easier (albeit boring) to find someone who is good from the get-go and doesn't need work.

posted by KA @ 1:14 PM