Confessions of A Naughty Girl

The Trifecta

Last night I went out to dinner with my friends Claire and Cally, neither of whom I had seen in a while. I'm not sure why we don't go out more often - I've never had a dinner that consisted of three straight hours of laughter. Although being out with them is strangely reminiscent of "Three's Company" (two chicks and a straight dude), the dynamic works, so I'm not going to f*ck with it.

Now, Cally swears that he had this theory first, but I disagreed, and then we got into an argument about who had it first because I've had this theory since 2001, but the point is that we share a common theory. Perhaps we are soulmates, because our theories are strangely similar, or perhaps he just stole mine from me. Probably.

Anyway, when it comes to women, there are three different types of attractiveness. (This is not to be confused with the Universal Scale, this is qualitative measurement, not quantitative.) Collectively, these three categories - "cute", "pretty", and "hot/sexy" - comprise the virtually unattainable Trifecta. Arguably, there is a "Hit Upside the Head With A Big Bag of 'What the F*ck' category", but we'll get into that another time.

You see, I personally have never been able to think of any single woman (with the exception of myself, obviously), who embodies the Trifecta. Many attractive women can achieve two of the three, but never all three. Usually because being cute and sexy negate one another. So last night, Cally and Claire and I spent a good hour trying to think of someone who embodies the Trifecta, and we even had our waitress in on it, but no one could come up with anyone.

Case Example #1: Catherine Zeta-Jones. Pretty and Hot, but not Cute.

Case Example #2: Kate Hudson. Cute and Pretty, but not Hot.

Case Example #3: Salma Hayek. She's just a smoke show, as Cally says.

We did come somewhat close...the closest we've gotten to thus far is Eva Longoria from "Desperate Housewives", and Vanessa Marcil from "Las Vegas". They're both Pretty and Hot, and possibly Cute because they are so petite. Kate Bosworth and Mandy Moore were rejected from Trifecta consideration on the grounds that Kate is not hot aside from that particularly though-provoking and intellectual movie "Blue Crush", and Mandy Moore is hot under no circumstances (sorry Mandy, but you are Cute and possibly Pretty).

So I'm holding a sort of unofficial contest to see who can come close to discussing a Trifecta, because I'm all tapped out and I'm sure that hopefully, someone will come up a good one. Any suggestions? Feel free to call someone out if they are clearly in the wrong as well.

posted by KA @ 10:34 AM