Confessions of A Naughty Girl

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor, Oscar Meyer

I have eaten two hot dogs for dinner every night this week. If you add that up, this being Thursday, that is a grand total of 8. That is a lot of f*cking dogs, man. I'm half expecting to wake up in my next life rotating on a skewer at Turner Field.

Hot dogs are my new cheeseburger. For a long time, I was convinced that the cheeseburger could cure most ails. I was convinced that my great ancestors, who I always envision wearing babushkas and Birkenstocks when they invented the concept of keeping Kosher, did not fully think through the "no mixing milk with meat" thing because it never occurred to them to put cheese on a meat patty. Had they done so, the world of Kosher may have very well been turned on its ear.

Anyway, I kind of feel bad for the cheeseburger. It's a bad breakup for us. The cheeseburger got me through many good and bad times in my life. But I believe the era has come to an end. Sure, we may have been involved for a really long time, and still waters run deep, but I think it's time to take a step back and pursue the hot dog thing because it's new and exciting and I want to revel in it.

That's not to say I won't continue to see the cheeseburger. I will absolutely do my best to keep in touch. I hope that someday soon, when its wounds have healed after being knocked out of my #1 spot, that it can forgive me and we can be in one another's lives.

But for right now, I'm good with the weiner.

posted by KA @ 8:15 PM