Overheard in the Highlands
The following snippets were overheard in the Virginia Highlands bars on June 3rd, 2006:------------------------------------------
(KA walks up to bar to get drink.)
Guy with lisp: Tho, are you ordering drinkth?
KA: Yes.
Guy with lisp: I jutht found out my wife cheated on me and sheth leaving me.
KA (pats guy on back and walks away): Well, good luck with that.
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Random short ugly guy: Were you here for the festival earlier today?
Susie (drunk since 2 pm): Yes.
RSUG: Do you like art?
Susie: No.
RSUG: Well, there's this artist here from New York - he takes wood and etches things into it. Then he paints over the wood and it looks completely different.
KA (to Susie): Sooz, you think you'd like that?
Susie: Probably not.
------------------------------------------
(Susie flicks cigarette on outdoor patio.)
Bald Piercing Guy: Hey, did you just flick your cigarette at me?
Susie (laughing): No.
BPG: I think you did.
Susie: No, I did not.
BPG: Well, you're not just a flicker, you're a liar, too.
Susie: I only lied about being a flicker.
------------------------------------------
Trashy Rural Guy: Y'all, I'm movin' to Atlanta. It ain't nothin' like Kennesaw. Y'all are big city people here. Are you from the city here?
KA (turning to Susie sitting on opposite side): I'm going to kill myself.
TRG: It sure must be nice livin' here. I'm movin' here myself. Tell me, is it this busy here all the time?
KA (turning to Susie again): This is my last night out ever. It all ends after tonight.
------------------------------------------
(Later on in the night, Trashy Rural Guy Attempt #2 at Conversation)
TRG: So. Where are your men?
KA: We don't have men. But if you're referring to the men we're always out with that might be misinterpreted as "our men" - one of them is at a cabin in the mountains this weekend, one of them is out on a fake date with a supermodel, and the third is probably at home, jerking off to the Sabres on tv.
(Silence.)
posted by KA @ 1:49 AM
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