R.I.P. Scooter Racing and Frogitis 2005-2006
So today, as I'm checking M.O. (short for "My Obsession", which is short for MySpace), I found the following bulletin posted by one of my good friends and former co-workers. It was the biggest compliment I think I've ever gotten, so in an effort to satiate my ego with some self-masturbatory posting, I've posted it for your enjoyment (with personal details censored, since some of you freaks don't know me and might try to contact me if the info is in there). Anyway, on with the show:It is with extreme regret and deepest sympathies to her family that I announce the passing of KA last Tuesday, April 11th at approximately 5:10 pm. During her time with us KA proved to be an extraordinary coworker, loyal friend, and dedicated wife. May all of us find inspiration in her story: an overworked but underappreciated and underpaid employee who got her priorities straight and took BACK control of her life. Perhaps KA's most outstanding accomplishment in the workplace was her recent promotion to CLO (Chief List-making Officer)*. Her responsibilities in this position included uploading, auto-filtering, pivot-tabling, binder-spine making, ranker-pulling, mapping and (of course) list-making. More than anything, she was a philanthropist, supporting such causes as the Foundation to Fight Chronic Frogitis (FFCF)**, of which she herself was a survivor. In an effort to give back to a community that had continually recognized her, she also dedicated her money, blood, sweat and tears to the World Scooter Federation***. In the wake of the this tragedy, the Company FUN Team**** has made her an honorary member and has retired her name plate and cubicle pod. In the next life, may KA find the perfect balance in life, the man of her dreams, and solace in the arms of the AFLAC***** duck. She is survived by her wife of 1 year, Erica. In lieu of flowers, checks can be sent to LP, Peachtree Street, Atlanta GA 30082. Cash also accepted.
*CLO (Chief List-making Officer): the title I insisted on being called instead of my real title when one of the accounts I worked on demanded that I spend at least 80% of my time in Excel.
**Frogitis: a disease that my friend claims I have because when I get excited or nervous about something, my already-large eyes widen, causing me to get a "froggy" look about me. My friend claims I have "chronic frogitis".
***See Scooter Racing for more info.
****This team really existed...it was a team dedicated to morale building and is a great idea but often the butt of jokes because 95% of team members are not "fun", which one would assume is the requirement for such membership.
*****New account.
posted by KA @ 9:23 PM
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