The Matzah-sizer 3000 - The Ultimate Jewish Girl Power Tool
Flat irons of the world, beware!After the death of my trusty "Superstar" ceramic flat iron's death (R.I.P. Superstar 2003-2005), I have gone on a quest to find the latest, greatest, nappy Jewfro flat iron on the market.
Behold the power of the Curlmaster Ceramic Tourmaline Wet/Dry! It is the new It hair appliance for Jewish and coarse-haired girls of the world!
For $60, you too can have straight, shiny, untangled hair, just like those slutty Catholic schoolgirls (before they give the basketball team head in the locker room)!
This sucker has tourmaline, ceramic plates (which I still don't know what that means, but throw a term like "tourmaline" in the description and I am immediately turned on), and heats up to 460 degrees. You could cook a f*cking tater tot on there, I dare you. That sucker will be toasty and good to go in a matter of sixty seconds. It has a swivel cord that enables full range of motion. It has 2 1/2 inch plates. It flat-irons my hair (usually a 40 minute job) - in under 20 minutes.
It is - in a word - amazing.
posted by KA @ 9:11 PM
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