Dear CW, Go F*ck Yourself
Dear CW,You aren't even a year old, and much like a child, have shat your programming pants yet again. Why the f*ck are you taking "Gilmore Girls" off the air?You have no idea the black cloud that descended on my afternoon when the fateful link appeared in my inbox, "Gilmore Girls to end series in May". It was like the time that I randomly made out with that guy that serenaded me on the guitar with Extreme's "More Than Words" the next morning, but worse. Much much worse.
You stated your case about the stars not wanting to continue another season. The Palladino writing team leaving last season. Declining ratings. I don't believe a word of it. You know that you really just wanted to air another horrible season of "America's Next Top Model", or some nauseating sitcom starring a former star of "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper". But I know the truth. And until Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham ring my doorbell and announce to me in person that they're sick of their multithousand dollar paycheck per episode, I will claim that this was a big mistake. Huge.
I have been a loyal viewer of this show since 2004, when my sister introduced me to that witty, acerbic, irreverent mother-daughter team. And since then, I have DVR'ed a humiliating number of episodes, including the one where Lane sneaks off to New York for the concert and gets busted by her mom (my least favorite thus far). I have withstood public scrutiny and placed my television-watching reputation on the line by virtue of mere mention that I love this show. I have alienated many a good time with friends during hungover weekend afternoons to watch marathons of this show on ABC Family. I have even grown fond of that lovable goofball Kirk, in all of his quirky splendor - only to have you rip that away from me and end the series with two weeks' advance notice. I should have known you were going to suck when you ripped "Everwood" from the schedule last year and didn't renew "Related". You wouldn't know a quality program if it came up and broke wind in your face.
CW, I hate you. I hate you, and your "new network", and your shitty neon green logo, and the fact that you can air a show like "Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll" and not have your little network balls shrivel up like prunes. How can you hang your hat on a show that eliminates girls based on how many sequins are on their hotpants and is being judged by that redheaded Doll that looks like a tranny?I hope your network is taken over by a bigger, cooler network with cool shows that don't go away after nine sub-par seasons and have a series finale, only to come back for a 10th season ("7th Heaven", CW Bastards, 2006).
I'm done.
Not very sincerely right now,
KA
posted by KA @ 9:18 PM
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