How Many is Too Many?
Seems like we have broken the ice around here and busted out some stories. So while we were on the topic, I figured I'd keep the momentum going and ask some more questions, see what everyone is thinking.I used to have this long-running discussion with a guy I used to date. We were very big on "numbers". Fortunately, at the end of the series of conversations, we agreed that the other person wasn't too skanky to sleep with, and then we proceeded to add one more to our lists. But the question still remains: at what point does a guy become "dirty"? At one point is a girl a slut? Is it five people? Ten? Fifty?
Dr. Rob, my ex, is an almost thirty year old podiatrist. He is also sort of a dick, a dick that showed up shitfaced at my birthday on Saturday and made an ass out of himself, but that's beside the point. And he's an okay looking guy, nothing special, really. But he's very smooth, and that makes him dangerous. So about three years ago, when we were dating, the conversation came up with him as well, and when I asked him if he minded telling me how many girls he'd slept with, and after I got past the initial "I don't know", he said "I guess somewhere between 30 and 60." Hold up. 30 and 60? That's a thirty person range, for those of you who have to stop and calculate. I'm not exactly sure how anyone forgets 30 people, but apparently it's possible. Or he's a liar. And since he's a dick, he might also be a liar.
My personal thoughts on this is that it does really depend on the person's relationship history (if they've never had a serious one, higher numbers are expected) and their age (if I ever dated a single 50 year old who slept with 1 woman, or an 18 year old who slept with 50, I'd be a little creeped out). But everyone seems to have a different theory about this. I'm particularly interested in hearing the male point of view on this, because I've never heard the same response twice.
posted by KA @ 10:21 PM
4 Comments:
You're absolutely right. It shouldn't matter - but curiosity always gets the best of me.
I have done some crazy and stupid things in my lifetime, but to some people's surprise, I have never had a "true" one night stand, so that concept has always sort of baffled me. It's way more comfortable with people you actually know. I think that if I did have one, I would definitely turn into that girl that makes more out of it than it should be.
How would you feel about dating a girl who has no experience in that department? Would you be excited to show the ropes, or would it be an issue?
Trojans all the way.
John S, major points for your policy of no-names. Names do get you into trouble. Particularly if the person knows any of the other names on your list. Divide and conquer is what I say.
I appear to be gay based on my cal ripken like streak for not having sex. so i am in no fear of 'too many'.
Either way, Karen, I had to say, from my time in Montreal, there is no hotter accent then French. I seriously wanted to bang a homeless women once because I heard her talk. just thought i'd comment because there was no comment available for that post.
I agree with Sammy, I have no desire to hear the sexual history of someone I'm with. It is the same reason I don't want to know who used a public toilet before me. Yeah, I know I'm not the first to use it, but spare me the history unless it isn't clean.
It is a catch 22 because people who have more experience are better at what they do. You can get some rookie who is terrible or some veteran who knows what they are doing.
A thing I hate to deal with is "Kyle, hand me a towel... I'm shaking... wow... jesus... that was amazing... wait a minute... how did you get so good?" kidding.
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