The Running List of Dealbreakers, Vol. I
Sorry for the late post, I got home about an hour ago. Seriously, does anyone else work until 9 pm on a Thursday? If so, please speak up and talk me down from the ledge. It'd be better knowing I am not the only one.So I am a bit of a listmaker. I like to make lists for just about everything. Once, I was so nervous about having a "relationship talk" with a guy that I made notes of everything I was going to say to him and glanced at them every now and then while we were on the phone, like I was giving a f*cking book report. I felt like such an idiot, but I didn't want to leave anything out, and I didn't want to say something off the cuff that would sound retarded. But I digress.
Anyway, for your benefit and mine, wouldn't it be great to keep a running list of dealbreakers?
dealbreakers: inherent or discovered characteristics, action, or behavior by a potential/current significant other which promptly causes you to label them a jackass, and thus leaves no option but for you to either write them off from the get-go, or break off the current relationship
The list will be like a Cliffs Notes to carry around with you mentally, as you meander down the dirty sidewalk of life.
To help us all out, I have compiled a mini-list of personal dealbreakers. I think most of the criteria are universal. So in no particular order whatsoever:
- "corn chip" toenails: this is what my co-worker calls them. Pretty self explanatory, and completely disgusting.
- someone who won't introduce you or acknowledge you to their friends
- anyone who still owns and listens to a full album by Milli Vanilli, Ratt, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Smashmouth, or Sugar Ray
- someone who uses coupons on dates (trust me on this one)
- any guy who consistently wears t-shirts with ridiculous sexual innuendo, like "Team Donkey Punch" (I ran into a group of guys wearing these shirts a couple of weeks ago - there were no girls present within a 20-foot radius.)
- anyone who finds Aaron Carter attractive, or even remotely talented
- people who use tip cards or calculators in restaurants
- back hair
Let's see how many we can come up with. I'm going to try and add a link to this page at some point with the running list, maybe with little check mark boxes next to them so you can post a hard copy somewhere, if you feel so inclined.
posted by KA @ 10:02 PM
2 Comments:
Ooh, ooh! If they never offer to pay for anything!
Or, if they have already comprehensively planned their own wedding.
Excellent. I was going to add "people who have blogs", but then again, that would eliminate myself and some of my friends.
Sammartano, are you dead, or just at "the clinic" the past few days? I thought for sure you'd have a field day with this topic.
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